Chuck Norris Jokes
Unleash a Daily Dose of Chuck Norris Laughs
Chuck Norris can film a five-star movie with a smartphone.
The term “Iron Age” was adopted after Chuck Norris decided to try something other than…
Chuck Norris Jokes
When Chuck Norris enters a swamp, alligators build him a raft.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go on safari. Animals parade before him.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Bees ask Chuck Norris for permission before making honey.
Chuck Norris once gave a eulogy at a dinosaur’s funeral.
When Chuck Norris walks into a bakery, the dough rises in salute.
When Chuck Norris yells ‘Dinner’s ready!’, food from all around the world lines up at…
When Chuck Norris makes dough, the flour kneads itself.
Chuck Norris can play bass so deep, it sets off car alarms.
Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop in the middle of a rock concert.
Chuck Norris can narrate an audiobook silently.
Chuck Norris’s whispers are recorded for audiobooks.
When Chuck Norris does origami, the paper folds itself.
Chuck Norris’s diary is a series of epic novels.
When Chuck Norris recites a poem, the words echo worldwide.
Chuck Norris doesn’t break a sweat. Sweat breaks before him.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim; water just wants to be around him.
In football, Chuck Norris doesn’t score touchdowns; touchdowns score Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in market correction, the market corrects itself before he has a…
When Chuck Norris throws in his two cents, it’s worth a billion.
Chuck Norris’s fiscal year has 13 months; he gets a bonus month.
Chuck Norris doesn’t predict futures; he decides them.
Chuck Norris doesn’t turn in his tests; the tests turn themselves in.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a GPA; the educational system has a Chuck Point Average.
When Chuck Norris was in school, ‘show and tell’ was renamed ‘show and survive.’
Chuck Norris once corrected a dictionary.
When Chuck Norris goes to class, even the smartest phone becomes smarter.
When Chuck Norris watches a foreign film, he doesn’t need subtitles.
When Chuck Norris went bungee jumping, the ground pushed itself down to save time.
Chuck Norris can circle the globe faster than the speed of light.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need maps; territories mark themselves on his boots.
When Chuck Norris steps on a scale, it reads, “One at a time, please.”
Chuck Norris tells the sun when to shine for optimal photosynthesis.
Chuck Norris can create a topiary with a chainsaw and a blindfold.
Chuck Norris can grow bamboo into a full forest overnight.
Chuck Norris’s vegetable garden is a former meat lover.
Chuck Norris’s orchids bloom in the shape of a roundhouse kick.
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