Chuck Norris Jokes

Unleash a Daily Dose of Chuck Norris Laughs

Featured Jokes
Enforcing Gravity

Chuck Norris once enforced the law of gravity.

Listen Now
Featured Jokes
Wilderness Essentials

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a survival kit; the wilderness needs a Chuck Norris kit.

Listen Now
Featured Jokes
Egg Beatdown: Crying Whites

Chuck Norris can beat eggs until they cry.

Listen Now

Chuck Norris Jokes

Non-Safari Adventures: A Parade of Paws
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t go on safari. Animals parade before him.

Listen Now
Giraffe Creation: An Uppercut Story
November 25, 2024

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.

Listen Now
Honey Permissions: Bee Negotiations
November 25, 2024

Bees ask Chuck Norris for permission before making honey.

Listen Now
Dinosaur Eulogies: Time-Traveling Speeches
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once gave a eulogy at a dinosaur’s funeral.

Listen Now
Dragon Tickles: Mythical Laughter
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can tickle a dragon.

Listen Now
No-Microwave Popcorn
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can microwave popcorn without a microwave.

Listen Now
Campfire Confessions
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris goes camping, the campfire tells him stories.

Listen Now
Explosive Snacking: One Chip Wonder
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip and make the bag explode.

Listen Now
Self-Cleansing Dishes
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash dishes, they cleanse themselves in his presence.

Listen Now
Respectful Toasting: Bread Edition
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris makes toast, the bread toasts itself out of respect.

Listen Now
Auto-Tune Fix
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris sings, Auto-Tune gets itself corrected.

Listen Now
Deep Bass Alarm
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can play bass so deep, it sets off car alarms.

Listen Now
Pin Drop Concert
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop in the middle of a rock concert.

Listen Now
Solo Whistle Duet
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can whistle a duet with himself.

Listen Now
Lullaby Sleep Inducer
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris sings a lullaby, the night itself falls asleep.

Listen Now
Fanfic Finale: Chuck Outwrites Originals
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris writes fanfiction, the original authors retire.

Listen Now
Blank Canvas Critiques: Chuck’s Imaginary Artistry
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can critique a painting from a blank canvas.

Listen Now
Cosmic Artistry: Chuck’s Galactic Drawings
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris draws a circle, it becomes a black hole.

Listen Now
Blueprint Masterpieces: Chuck’s Sketching Precision
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s sketches are used as blueprints for reality.

Listen Now
Invisible Coloring: Chuck’s Blind Art Skills
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can color inside the lines with his eyes closed.

Listen Now
Autopilot Home Runs
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris steps onto a baseball field, home runs hit themselves.

Listen Now
Transcontinental Free Throw
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can make a free throw from another continent.

Listen Now
Apologetic Opponents
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris never gets fouled; the opposing player apologizes for being in the way.

Listen Now
Shadow MVP
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s shadow has more MVP awards than any other player.

Listen Now
Marathon-Triathlon Mix-up
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once entered a marathon and won the triathlon.

Listen Now
Billion-Dollar Cents
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris throws in his two cents, it’s worth a billion.

Listen Now
Extended Fiscal Year
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s fiscal year has 13 months; he gets a bonus month.

Listen Now
Startups That Stay
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris creates a startup, it stays up.

Listen Now
Futures Decided by Chuck
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t predict futures; he decides them.

Listen Now
Analytics? Chuck Sets Trends
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t need analytics; he decides the trends.

Listen Now
Chuck Point Average
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a GPA; the educational system has a Chuck Point Average.

Listen Now
Survival Show and Tell
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris was in school, ‘show and tell’ was renamed ‘show and survive.’

Listen Now
Editorial Power: Dictionary Edition
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once corrected a dictionary.

Listen Now
Classroom Tech Boost
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris goes to class, even the smartest phone becomes smarter.

Listen Now
Time Travel Teaching
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to history class; he teaches it.

Listen Now
Gravity Defier
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris went bungee jumping, the ground pushed itself down to save time.

Listen Now
Globe Sprinter
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can circle the globe faster than the speed of light.

Listen Now
Sea Reviver
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris visited the Dead Sea, it perked right up.

Listen Now
Self-Marking Explorer
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t need maps; territories mark themselves on his boots.

Listen Now
Ticketless Travel
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris travels, no one asks for his ticket. They just thank him.

Listen Now
Bar-Free Pull-Ups
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can do pull-ups without a bar.

Listen Now
Sauna Heat Surge
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris visits the sauna, the heat turns up.

Listen Now
CPR Revival
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can breathe life into CPR dummies.

Listen Now
Independent Shadow Workout
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s shadow works out on its own.

Listen Now
Yoga Mastery
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris does yoga, the poses master themselves.

Listen Now
Chuck Units Rain Gauge
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s rain gauge measures in Chuck units.

Listen Now
Mulching Gaze
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can mulch a tree just by looking at it.

Listen Now
Migratory Commands
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris tells birds when to migrate south for winter—via his garden.

Listen Now
Volcanic Gardening
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris uses volcanic ash from volcanoes he personally stopped from erupting for his garden.

Listen Now
Hardworking Yard
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris does yard work, the yard works harder.

Listen Now

Articles

Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024

News

Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024
Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
July 11, 2024