Chuck Norris Jokes

Unleash a Daily Dose of Chuck Norris Laughs

Featured Jokes
Shirt-Slicing Abs

Chuck Norris’s abs are so sharp, they slice his shirts.

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Featured Jokes
Rhyming Orange

Chuck Norris can rhyme orange.

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Featured Jokes
Shell Shock: Turtles Meet Chuck

Turtles come out of their shells when they hear Chuck Norris is coming.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

Giraffe Creation: An Uppercut Story
November 25, 2024

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.

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Honey Permissions: Bee Negotiations
November 25, 2024

Bees ask Chuck Norris for permission before making honey.

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Dinosaur Eulogies: Time-Traveling Speeches
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once gave a eulogy at a dinosaur’s funeral.

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Dragon Tickles: Mythical Laughter
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can tickle a dragon.

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Arctic Hospitality: Polar Refreshments
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris visits the Arctic, polar bears buy him a Coca-Cola.

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Self-Cleansing Dishes
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash dishes, they cleanse themselves in his presence.

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Respectful Toasting: Bread Edition
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris makes toast, the bread toasts itself out of respect.

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Fearful Cooking: Self-Made Meals
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s meals cook themselves out of fear of being raw.

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Inner Heat Stovetop
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t use a stovetop, he uses his inner heat.

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Frosty Glare: Snow Cone Creation
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can make a snow cone with his stare.

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Deep Bass Alarm
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can play bass so deep, it sets off car alarms.

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Pin Drop Concert
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can hear a pin drop in the middle of a rock concert.

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Solo Whistle Duet
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can whistle a duet with himself.

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Lullaby Sleep Inducer
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris sings a lullaby, the night itself falls asleep.

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Instant Rap Win
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s rap battles end before they start; opponents hand over their mics.

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Blueprint Masterpieces: Chuck’s Sketching Precision
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s sketches are used as blueprints for reality.

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Invisible Coloring: Chuck’s Blind Art Skills
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can color inside the lines with his eyes closed.

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Judging Covers: Chuck’s Speed Reading
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can read a book by its cover.

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Ghostwriting: Chuck’s Fearful Pen
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris writes, his pen never touches the paper—it’s too scared.

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Solo Pictionary: Chuck’s Imaginative Gameplay
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can play Pictionary alone and win.

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Shadow MVP
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s shadow has more MVP awards than any other player.

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Marathon-Triathlon Mix-up
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once entered a marathon and won the triathlon.

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Explosive Fetch
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris plays fetch with live grenades.

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Javelin Dental Care
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can use a javelin as a toothpick.

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World Record Collection
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris holds every world record. Just in case.

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Extended Fiscal Year
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s fiscal year has 13 months; he gets a bonus month.

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Startups That Stay
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris creates a startup, it stays up.

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Futures Decided by Chuck
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t predict futures; he decides them.

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Analytics? Chuck Sets Trends
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t need analytics; he decides the trends.

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Economic Moods: Chuck’s Recession
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris goes into a recession, the economy gets depressed.

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Survival Show and Tell
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris was in school, ‘show and tell’ was renamed ‘show and survive.’

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Editorial Power: Dictionary Edition
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once corrected a dictionary.

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Classroom Tech Boost
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris goes to class, even the smartest phone becomes smarter.

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Time Travel Teaching
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to history class; he teaches it.

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Eyes-Closed Mastery
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can solve a closed book exam with his eyes closed.

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Globe Sprinter
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can circle the globe faster than the speed of light.

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Sea Reviver
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris visited the Dead Sea, it perked right up.

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Self-Marking Explorer
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris doesn’t need maps; territories mark themselves on his boots.

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Ticketless Travel
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris travels, no one asks for his ticket. They just thank him.

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Inspiring Statue
November 25, 2024

The Statue of Liberty lights her own torch when Chuck Norris arrives in New York.

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Sauna Heat Surge
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris visits the sauna, the heat turns up.

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CPR Revival
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can breathe life into CPR dummies.

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Independent Shadow Workout
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s shadow works out on its own.

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Yoga Mastery
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris does yoga, the poses master themselves.

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Crying Protein Bars
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris can make a protein bar cry for mercy.

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Volcanic Gardening
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris uses volcanic ash from volcanoes he personally stopped from erupting for his garden.

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Hardworking Yard
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris does yard work, the yard works harder.

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Dragon Skin Apron
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris’s gardening apron is made from dragon skin.

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Full-Size Bonsai
November 25, 2024

Chuck Norris once grew a bonsai tree full-size just to see if he could.

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Seasoning Herbs
November 25, 2024

When Chuck Norris plants herbs, they season themselves in anticipation.

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Global Efforts to Combat Climate Change Intensify
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